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WINTER What does winter mean to me? A season of cold and long dark nights. But also a season of stories. As a Navajo, stories are all I have. Winter has become a season of the imagination for me. A season of reflection, where I am asked to face the ghosts of the past. And, in facing them, I must treat them calmly and civilly before the snows melt and the cycles of the seasons can begin once more. This week the emotion of anger boiled up between the ribs and shoulder blades. Ice packs weren't doing the trick, either. I'm not going to sugar coat this, I loathe fear tactics and folks who use them are on my less-than-desirable list of those I want to hang with. I was raised in an environment where I was scared into believing that Jesus died for my sins and that gave God license to always watch me to make sure I did the right thing. I mentioned before that that parenting maneuver wreaked havoc on my twenties. Instead of being carefree and independent, my twenties were fraught with i
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FALLING IN LOVE, THE PHYSICS

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FALLING IN LOVE, the physics of it - it being the physical properties and phenomena of the fall.  Amidst my cleaning, I came across an old digital camera that used to be my best friend back in the day. A Canon 8.0 megapixels. This, of course, was long before I owned an iPhone. But not so long ago that the photos have lost their relevance. The damn camera was dead so I had to hunt up some AA batteries so I could see what was on it.  Love cannot be bought or sold It's actually more precious than gold I've got it in several full buckets Some may read that as arrogance But don't be fooled Everything I have is a gift I didn't earn any of it People look at her Then they look at me And they know I'm living in luxury I've dreamed of a certain kind of love since I was a kid. I'm not ready to say I've acquired it, either. I am ready to say that I'm finally ready for it, though. I'm high on romance, all idealists are. I am practical but very theatric
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  To Whom it May Concern The older I get, the more I realize how incredibly patient love is. I've been in and out of transformative moments this week. I began spring break with picking up my kids from school and then pulling over to the side of the road and puking my guts out. I puked so much and so hard that I thought one of my kids should call 911; I was shaking so much in the after math. I hadn't really eaten that morning so my body was releasing processed food from the day before. I got out of the car and laid on someone's front lawn hoping that the the coolness from the grass would calm my shaking body. I didn't have my bearings. I was scared. Who do you call when you're scared? I certainly know not to call a stranger. I don't know all the nurses at Indian Health Center but I know that the majority of them are Natives. I've been in ER twice in my life. Both times I was rushed to Phoenix Indian Hospital. Both times a Native nurse held my hand throughout.
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