Moms are not Goalies but they have Goals
What was the difference this time? I slowly started making changes in my eating habits. I completely quit drinking alcohol. That was a big one! I used to spend hours at the gym and then come home and down a six pack. But no more. I also gave up diet soda. I have heard the evils of diet soda ad nauseum from Lisa. I am lucky to have someone like Lisa in my life. She knows everything about anything that is not healthy for me. Anyway, I became a serious fan of hiking about a year ago and last summer went almost every day. When baby Bahe came along, I took him for morning hikes every day. He would sleep the entire time. I believe the hikes were what began his love affair with nature. Ten months later, I still take him for morning walks along the creek when I take the dogs out and he is completely mesmerized. He is so happy and talkative with the trees and nature.
After I got in better shape from the hikes, I joined the gym. I would go there to run but then my best gal pal, Julia, turned me onto lifting weights. I really got into it. So much so that I now lift weights three times a week. I have lost close to 23 pounds since I began at the gym last March. I am not a die hard but the gym time really helps to keep me sane. A lot of potential issues become impotent after an hour on the treadmill. I also have experienced a total transformation in how I handle stress. I am more calm about everything. So, the gym has been helpful in alleviating the stress and helping me to lose weight. I feel at the top of my game. Ideally, I would like to lose ten more pounds but I am not pushing myself because being healthy is more important.
The other goal that has manifested itself is my spiritual life. I don't like to get all orthodox on others. I believe we each have our individual paths to travel and that God meets us wherever we are at. I used to believe in a God that judged and punished us but that was before I had my boys. No matter what they may do, I wish them no malice. Regardless of how many times they may walk near the edge, I do not, once, wish for them to fall off so a lesson may be learned. I only wish good things for them and my heart breaks when I see that I or another has caused them any pain. Thanks in part to my boys and to Lisa, I have been able to get to know God on a different level. I am actually friends with God now. I am no longer afraid that there is some big being in the sky watching everything I do with a notepad checking off items that denote whether I am saved or condemned. It's been a huge relief. Instead of going crazy reckless with the idea that I am free from punishment I have been going deeper into loving myself and others. I am not afraid to love as I used to be. There is no real loss associated with truly loving. It's a risk, no doubt. But my faith empowers me now. I want to risk myself in the process of loving another. I have stopped judging others, too. Who I am to judge anyway? I realized that everytime I draw a circle, I immediately want to step out of it.