Moms are not Goalies but they have Goals

Something on my mind most recently was the fact that I intentionally set out to lose weight several months ago. I've had this intention before but somehow, somewhere it fell flat on its face. Losing weight this time was a goal that was unspecified for the most part. I disguised it under "get healthy."  I feel like I've gotten real good at yo-yo weight loss. I lose some but then before I can enjoy the abscence of the weight, I gain it back. Sometimes even more of it.  I've had a love-hate relationship with my wardrobe for the past ten or so years. Shopping fell off of my "fun things to do" list about ten years ago. 

What was the difference this time? I slowly started making changes in my eating habits. I completely quit drinking alcohol. That was a big one! I used to spend hours at the gym and then come home and down a six pack. But no more. I also gave up diet soda. I have heard the evils of diet soda ad nauseum from Lisa. I am lucky to have someone like Lisa in my life. She knows everything about anything that is not healthy for me. Anyway, I became a serious fan of hiking about a year ago and last summer went almost every day. When baby Bahe came along, I took him for morning hikes every day. He would sleep the entire time. I believe the hikes were what began his love affair with nature. Ten months later, I still take him for morning walks along the creek when I take the dogs out and he is completely mesmerized. He is so happy and talkative with the trees and nature.

After I got in better shape from the hikes, I joined the gym. I would go there to run but then my best gal pal, Julia, turned me onto lifting weights. I really got into it. So much so that I now lift weights three times a week. I have lost close to 23 pounds since I began at the gym last March. I am not a die hard but the gym time really helps to keep me sane.  A lot of potential issues become impotent after an hour on the treadmill. I also have experienced a total transformation in how I handle stress. I am more calm about everything. So, the gym has been helpful in alleviating the stress and helping me to lose weight. I feel at the top of my game. Ideally, I would like to lose ten more pounds but I am not pushing myself because being healthy is more important.

The other goal that has manifested itself is my spiritual life. I don't like to get all orthodox on others. I believe we each have our individual paths to travel and that God meets us wherever we are at. I used to believe in a God that judged and punished us but that was before I had my boys. No matter what they may do, I wish them no malice. Regardless of how many times they may walk near the edge, I do not, once, wish for them to fall off so a lesson may be learned. I only wish good things for them and my heart breaks when I see that I or another has caused them any pain. Thanks in part to my boys and to Lisa, I have been able to get to know God on a different level. I am actually friends with God now. I am no longer afraid that there is some big being in the sky watching everything I do with a notepad checking off items that denote whether I am saved or condemned.  It's been a huge relief.  Instead of going crazy reckless with the idea that I am free from punishment I have been going deeper into loving myself and others. I am not afraid to love as I used to be. There is no real loss associated with truly loving. It's a risk, no doubt. But my faith empowers me now. I want to risk myself in the process of loving another. I have stopped judging others, too. Who I am to judge anyway? I realized that everytime I draw a circle, I immediately want to step out of it.


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