FALLING IN LOVE, THE PHYSICS

FALLING IN LOVE, the physics of it - it being the physical properties and phenomena of the fall. 

Amidst my cleaning, I came across an old digital camera that used to be my best friend back in the day. A Canon 8.0 megapixels. This, of course, was long before I owned an iPhone. But not so long ago that the photos have lost their relevance. The damn camera was dead so I had to hunt up some AA batteries so I could see what was on it. 

Love cannot be bought or sold
It's actually more precious than gold
I've got it in several full buckets
Some may read that as arrogance
But don't be fooled
Everything I have is a gift
I didn't earn any of it
People look at her
Then they look at me
And they know I'm living in luxury

I've dreamed of a certain kind of love since I was a kid. I'm not ready to say I've acquired it, either. I am ready to say that I'm finally ready for it, though. I'm high on romance, all idealists are. I am practical but very theatrical. I love the theatrics of love. No, not those theatrics. I loathe breaking up just to make up. I can't stand putting the responsibility on someone outside of myself for my own happiness. I'm a mystery to myself, how in the hell could I ever justify ever expecting another to understand me? 

If you don't have love in your life, you have no one to blame but yourself. What I mean by that is that you are your first love. You have to be willing to begin there. Seriously. I've done so much self work over the last ten years that I am now the first one in line to date me. Yes, I want to date myself. And, it is in that perspective that true love was able to show up between Nancy and I. 

Oh yeah, back to my camera...On this camera are photos of my first vacation with Nancy. We ventured to a quaint B&B in Patagonia. We had only been together for three months before this vacation so I really didn't know what to expect. I'll venture to say, nor did she. Looking over the photos helped me understand the physics of us falling in love.

MECHANICS: two humans of sound. body and mind. I know addicts think they fall in love but I beg to differ. (More on that later, if you want.) Good sense of humor when you are alone in a car for any extended period of time. Humor also helps when you are both scared of crunchy things that crawl on the floor beneath you. Never forget, weird stuff reveals itself in those initial getting to know love experiences. Lots of food; the more caloric and sugar content, the better. 

HEAT: By heat, I mean passion. Skin-to-skin electricity often works best to raise the temp. Feel each other by hugging, holding hands and pushing each other on a swing. The other stuff gets heralded too much. But really, who do you allow to push you on a swing? 

LIGHT: When I was a young adult I was super afraid of intimacy so I always wanted the lights off, for everything to do with another human being. When you are falling in love, you need light, you need to be able to see what the hell is happen. 

RADIATION: Nothing nuclear here but soul radiation that cures the emotional cancers and opens you up more than you are open with anyone else. 

SOUND: Yeah, use your imagine here. I'll also add that delight and pleasure in one's voice is priority. In our early days, I used make up reasons to call Nancy because I adored the way she laughed right when she whispered "Goodbye" 

ELECTRICITY: This is no lie, I feel as if I am in a force field when I am in Nancy's sphere of energy. She's as electrifying as Danny Zuko might sing. 

MAGNETISM: This is all personality. Don't tell Nancy, but I work on my charm. I remember little things she says and then do my research so I can coincidentally bring it up at another time. Always with the intention to make myself appear learned. Who wants to fall in love with a dummy? 

STRUCTURE OF ATOMS: This involves discipline. People think that falling in love means something that happens to them, something that is beyond their control. This couldn't be further from the truth. Who wants to be that out of control with one of the most important events of one's life. I don't smoke, primarily because my folks smoked. I never dated anyone who smoked. That's not to say I haven't been attracted to folks who smoke. I have been interested until I saw them pull out a cancer stick. It goes both ways, too. I was completely smitten over a girl who was vegan and for the life of me, I couldn't give up the filet mignon. I even asked if we could have a relationship where we didn't eat together but she said that the "principle of the emancipation of animals from exploitation by man" was more important to her than my cuteness. So, needless to say, I also haven't dated a vegan since her!

For all of you who haven't been gifted with true love as of yet. Get to know thyself. To thine own self be true. Nancy realized she was in love with me the day I asked to her to come over and she wanted to spend the day alone. She was afraid to tell me that. She believed it wasn't okay to say no, that others came before she did. I told her to say "no" to me until it felt the same as saying "yes" to me. No one had told her that before so it pretty sealed the deal. 

This is a long post. It's all for you, too. It's the season where hearts are lonely and aching. I get that. Everything's gone alright. You are your best gift. If you're willing and ready to start from there then be ready for the expected. If I know one thing, I know love comes when you least expect it!

My love is your love. May this always be true.